Big thanks to Bec Box for suggesting this topic - comment below with weekly reminders you want us to create.
Transcript
This week's reminder is going to touch on loneliness during the holiday season. Let's be real, a lot of us have felt this and experienced these emotions. It's time to talk about it. What is it? What are the reasons behind it? And most importantly, how do we cope with it?
In order to move through difficult emotions, I find it best to dive deeper into understanding exactly what the emotion is and what is causing them. The more knowledge I can have surrounding the emotions or the trigger the easier I can work through feeling and stabilising the emotion. In saying all of this, let's get into it!
What are we talking about?
We’re talking about feeling lonely during the holidays. These emotions can be felt by anyone, whether they’re at a family gathering and surrounded by loved ones, or whether they’re celebrating the holidays on their own this year. It’s important for us to realise that “loneliness” and “being alone” are two separate things. And therefore we need not to put judgement on those who are feeling lonely, despite being surrounded by friends and family, just like we wouldn't put it on to the person who is physically alone during the holidays. Either way, no matter how you are spending your holiday season, just know that these feelings are completely valid, normal and are felt by more people than you would probably think!
“New data from Australian Red Cross reveals one in three people feel lonely during the festive season, but feelings of loneliness are more prevalent in women and younger people”.
So what are some reasons for loneliness during the holidays?
Not everyone feels loved and supported during this time. This time of year is always perceived as loving time spent with family and friends but not everyone has this. This also includes people who have lost loved ones. It acts as a reminder that they’re not there.
Unrealistic expectations. We can have an idea about how we think the holidays will go, everyone tells us it's the happiest time of the year so we expect it to be exactly that. However, sometimes this is not the case, and things don’t turn out the way we hoped for them to! Also, it’s so easy to get caught up in social media and what other people are doing for their holidays and comparing your experience to theirs.
Stress increases! The holiday season tends to increase stress levels for multiple reasons. One of those being financial stress, not everyone can afford to celebrate at all because of their financial position. Also life reflection begins around this time of year which can be stressful because we might not be where we want to be.
Remember, if you can’t relate to some of the points above, yet you still feel holiday loneliness, your feelings are still valid! These points only scrape the surface to how and why people feel this way during the holiday season and just because yours isn't listed doesn’t mean it's not valid.
Now that we understand briefly some reasons as to why we feel this loneliness during the holidays, let’s talk about how we can work through dealing with this loneliness in a productive and healthy way.
How can I work through the lonely feelings during the holidays?
Acknowledge your feelings. Sometimes it’s as easy as saying “I feel this way, and that’s okay”. When we understand how we feel and why, we’re able to move through the emotions quicker and more maturely than how we would if we were avoiding them all together. Understanding our emotions also helps us to identify our triggers, and when we’re able to identify our triggers during the holiday season, we’re able to avoid them and/or work through them.
Start a new tradition. You are the creator of your own existence, you can make your own traditions! Take yourself on a date and celebrate your life or the year just passed. Buy a mug painting kit and invite your best friend around to paint the Christmas mug with you and some nibblies. Side note: I remember when I was 19, fresh to Melbourne, when I had to spend Christmas away from family, me and my best friend went to the beach on Christmas day and spent it there. There were so many people there by themselves or just with a friend. You don't have to spend it inside miserable. Be somewhere that makes you happy, even if you are on your own.
Reflect on what you are grateful for. Instead of focusing on what we’re missing out on and what we don’t have, let’s shift our focus on to the things we do have and the things we are grateful for. A year is a long time, what have you achieved this year? Who has positively impacted your life? What good news did you receive? What new friends did you make? What new foods did you try? What or who made you laugh? Hold these positive feelings in your heart, and get excited for another year of being alive and growing.
Give back to your community. If you wish to stay social, be around people and support your local community look up volunteer opportunities with local organisations or charities in your area that you are able to help out in!
Just know that the pressure around this time of year is felt by almost everyone, you are not alone! The holiday season is a busy time of year, with a lot of high expectations surrounding it and feeling a negative way towards it is completely normal. But that doesn't mean that it has to ruin the entire festive season for us as long as we refocus our energy and attention onto what we're grateful for this year and find healthy ways to spend our time!