Updated: Jul 28
"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” - Jim Rohn
Since I first heard this quote I strongly resonated with it, however some of my friends have at times disagreed.... Only to come back years later and confirm that they now believe it. Sometimes we have to learn our lessons the hard way; by hanging around a toxic person, convincing ourselves ‘they are not bringing us down’, and then to be later disappointed by them…bringing us down.
Or maybe you are the type of person who wants to achieve great things, but chats with your inner circle leave you feeling less confident. Sometimes your closest friends / family can be unsupportive and on a different path to you.
It doesn't mean you should just drop them 😅 in some cases, the friendship can still be a lasting one - you might just speak with them less. And that's okay…. It’s a part of having healthy boundaries! Do what’s best for you!
1. Become aware of your inner circle
Who are the people that you spend the most time with / talk to the most every day? Think of your living situation (house mates / family), work environment (co-workers / clients), sporting groups (team mates) and social circles (friends & school). You should notice a pattern of a set group of people that you talk to every day…
2. Evaluate if you need to make some changes
If you notice some people on your list who don’t positively influence you or support you, consider how you can distance yourself from them or have a conversation with them about it. Change is never easy, and depending on the situation, some changes will take more time than others. A small & easy change can look like choosing to sit with a different group of people when having lunch at work / uni / school. A larger change for example, could be if you live with a house-mate that always makes you feel anxious & uncomfortable, it might be worth looking for somewhere else to live.
3. Seek out the right people & put in effort to solidify the relationship
Once you break away from toxic ties & bad relationships, now you need to deliberately seek out new friends / mentors who will allow you to be the best version of yourself. Join new clubs, speak to people in a friendly community (like this one!) and start conversations with new people. When you find the right person, put in effort to keep the relationship strong - go to coffee, check in on them regularly, find out about their goals and aspirations too!
Making new friends can be scary at times, but I’m so thankful for all the amazing people on this App that are always kind & open to meeting new people. Make sure you get in the forums and start following the people you connect with the most.
Comment below if you are happy with your inner circle or if you sense a change needs to happen soon??