"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” - Jim Rohn
Since I first heard this quote I strongly resonated with it, however some of my friends have at times disagreed.... Only to come back years later and confirm that they now believe it. Sometimes we have to learn our lessons the hard way; by hanging around a toxic person, convincing ourselves ‘they are not bringing us down’, and then to be later disappointed by them…bringing us down.
Or maybe you are the type of person who wants to achieve great things, but chats with your inner circle leave you feeling less confident. Sometimes your closest friends / family can be unsupportive and on a different path to you.
It doesn't mean you should just drop them 😅 in some cases, the friendship can still be a lasting one - you might just speak with them less. And that's okay…. It’s a part of having healthy boundaries! Do what’s best for you!
Key Takeaways:
1. Become aware of your inner circle
Who are the people that you spend the most time with / talk to the most every day? Think of your living situation (house mates / family), work environment (co-workers / clients), sporting groups (team mates) and social circles (friends & school). You should notice a pattern of a set group of people that you talk to every day…
2. Evaluate if you need to make some changes
If you notice some people on your list who don’t positively influence you or support you, consider how you can distance yourself from them or have a conversation with them about it. Change is never easy, and depending on the situation, some changes will take more time than others. A small & easy change can look like choosing to sit with a different group of people when having lunch at work / uni / school. A larger change for example, could be if you live with a house-mate that always makes you feel anxious & uncomfortable, it might be worth looking for somewhere else to live.
3. Seek out the right people & put in effort to solidify the relationship
Once you break away from toxic ties & bad relationships, now you need to deliberately seek out new friends / mentors who will allow you to be the best version of yourself. Join new clubs, speak to people in a friendly community (like this one!) and start conversations with new people. When you find the right person, put in effort to keep the relationship strong - go to coffee, check in on them regularly, find out about their goals and aspirations too!
Making new friends can be scary at times, but I’m so thankful for all the amazing people on this App that are always kind & open to meeting new people. Make sure you get in the forums and start following the people you connect with the most.
Comment below if you are happy with your inner circle or if you sense a change needs to happen soon??
I think for me my top 5 would be my Mum, Matt (my older brother), Beth (my mentor from church), and my two best friends Tia and Seb. These are the influences I surround myself with because of wise advice they can give me. They are also the only people in my life that I can be fully vulnerable with and I trust them with my whole heart knowing that whatever I tell them they won't use that vulnerability to gain power or control. Like some of us have, I some pretty rough things happen in my life which forced me to grow up alot quicker than I ever should of and with that meant that I shared information with the…
My 5 favourite people are My bestie, jett, Tyerra, my parents and taz and alessia even though they don't really know who I am they still make me feel welcome and make my day better with there livestreams. While all the other people I hang around always ignore me and don't really care about me so I only really have three friends to be able to hang out with and they mean to whole world to me. Finally my parents they mean a lot to me even on my bad days they still take the time to talk to me and joke around even though sometimes I feel left out of the family they still mean a lot to me.
Yes this is a really interesting topic however I have noticed that I have some people in my life that I do need to distant myself from and some people that I need to cut contact with completely. See I am a very vulnerable person i find myself to nice sometimes and that’s what people take advantage of cause they know that I will say yes to anything. I find it very hard to say no cause I feel like I am gonna hurt the other persons feelings so having a conversation with these people about distancing and cutting contact with is just proving difficult for me
My 3 people are Jackson , Jess S , Samantha. Can’t decide of the other two!! This is very interesting cause I am friendly to everyone and have different stages/ types of friendships and definitely have been through multiple friendships which all have had different impacts on me🥲 100% can say my toxic friendships have build the Anu I am today and has taught me how to be confident and stand up for myself and the people around me 🥺Currently have stuck to my close circle for the past 3 years 😆 can’t say the same within Tanda tho hehe 😜 Taz and Alessia have also had a massive impact on me and I will forever be grateful for the…
This is a really interesting topic as I feel the people I spend time with have a huge impact on me. I grew up through school not having any friends but would still join groups that were toxic towards me and would bully me constantly from kindy-yr12.This lead me to not really knowing who I was and how I would fit in to groups as an adult, overall I’ve learnt that when you join different groups it can sort of change the person you are and how you are around them for example I used to have a close friend whom was toxic that I ended up doing the same things she was doing like smoking, drinking and I also…